Ogre

“I like turtle butt”

I have received information that it is no longer Christmas, and therefore this blog needs to be updated. So this post is to wish you a Merry Martin Luther King Jr. Day. In celebration, here is an important video that every American should watch.

Someone said “ship it!” and I misunderstood, so I’m on a ship until after Christmas.  Since I know millions of people’s lives are not complete without checking this blog for updates several times a day, here is something to tide you over.

Also

The greatest YouTube video ever.  Or at least today.

‘”Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac”? I don’t remember putting that on my wishlist.’

If you ____ your brains out, you will be immune from zombies.

Discuss!

Lost for many years, the city of Ur’vine was once thought to be mythical. There are untold ancient tombs, crypts, temples, homes, and sacrificial office parks that have long since been claimed by jungle.

On a recent excursion with my trusty jungle trekking dog, J.D., seen here,

we came across this stairway. I believe it was once used for dark rituals of the sort not spoken of in polite company. Even today, the stench of copy machine toner is strong. Now, it is almost completely hidden by the lush rainforest undergrowth.

Sadly, there was no time to explore further. As it is well known that Ur’vine is full of poison dart traps and giant rolling stone balls, I will not explore this ancient site further until I have my bullwhip and fedora handy.

Lnor’s fortune cookie: “You have a deep interest in all that is artistic (in bed)”

Duh.  I already knew she was interested in good strokes.

…

This morning, lying in bed, Lnor said, “If you don’t get up, I won’t get up, so get moving already.”

My reply, “So let me get this straight.  I’m in bed with a naked girl and you think I’m going to leave?”

You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

Her, writing a blog post: “Why can’t I delete this period? What is that?”

Me: “That’s a speck of dust”

Her: “…”